Written by Jalapenoman
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Topics: Drugs, Food

Thursday, 9 November 2006

image for Burger King Seeks to Add Pot Burgers to Menu
Get buzzed with the King by trying his new menu items.

Due to the increased business of the Burger King location that served marijuana laced whoppers to two policemen, Burger King Corporation has announced plans to make this a regular menu item.

Company spokesman Ralph Mayonnaise said that "laced brownies have long been a staple at parties, so we know that marijuana is popular as a food additive. If it goes well on the hamburgers, we'll add it to the marinara sauce for our Italian Chicken sandwiches next. We can also put it raw into our salads."

The new "Get Stoned with the King" will feature pictures of the burger chain's mascot seated next to famous entertainers who all have lit joints in their hands. Through complicated darkroom work, these include Elvis, Jim Morrison of the Doors, Janis Joplin, Bob Marley, and John Lennon.

The policemen who were served the burgers have sued the chain because because they were not able to finish their sandwiches and the location would not provide them with fresh ones. Said one, "we buzzed in to the drive through to get replacements because we had to turn ours in for testing, but were declined. We thanks that this is discrimination because of the uniform."

Many people have jumped on this new bandwagon to show their support.

Former New Mexico Governor Gary Johnson, long an advocate of legalized marijuana, announced plans to purchase the sixteen Albuquerque Burger King franchise locations shortly after the announcement was made.

Peter, Paul and Mary announced that they would perform "Puff the Magic Dragon," a song long associated with the drug, for commercials if requested.

Willie Nelson said that he just couldn't wait to get back on the road again from his home in Lukenbach, Texas to buy a whopper.

Former Dallas Cowboy Michael Irvin, while pleased with the marijuana announcement, wondered when they were going to start salting the fries with cocaine.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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