Written by Gary Potter
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Tuesday, 11 March 2014

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First class delivery

The Royal Mail has announced that they will still continue to attempt to deliver your mail, despite price increases.

Following recent news that the already astronomical cost of delivering letters and parcels is yet again about to increase, they have quashed claims that this will improve the notoriously slow service.

An informal study, carried out coincidentally by this very reporter, can prove that it can take up to 3 weeks and counting for a package to be delivered from a town just 30 miles away.

A spokesman denied claims that the increase will improve 'services'.

"No, don't expect any changes there!" He laughed. "We let the mail accumulate into bigger batches, so we can deliver these in fewer trips.

"The increase will buy bigger carrier bags so that we can accumulate even more before delivering, so if anything, the problem will get worse," he chuckled.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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