Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 12 February 2014

image for Subway Promises Its Customers It Will Get Rid of The Yoga Mat Taste In Its Bread
The Super Duper Deluxe Submarine Sandwich has been fixed.

MILFORD, Connecticut - Subway has stated that they have always had the taste buds of their customers foremost at hand.

Company spokeswoman Tammy Strawhouse recently addressed the matter that had been brought up by a consumer group that some of the Subway submarine sandwich bread tasted a bit like used yoga mats.

Ms. Strawhouse said that the Subway fast food franchise takes any such claims seriously and as a result it has instructed its top chemists to tackle the problem and fix it as soon as possible (preferably yesterday) as one of the top home office executives explained.

The undesirable taste apparently comes from a chemical that expands during the bread baking process and takes on the olfactory qualities of a used yoga mat when it reaches temperatures of 317 degrees.

Ms. Strawhouse wants to assure all of the devoted and dedicated Subway patrons that the amount of chemical found in the bread is so minute that it could easily fit in the belly button of a newborn flea and still have a bit of room left over.

She also wants to inform the public that she herself recently ate 12 Subway sandwiches in one day and she had absolutely no problem of any kind.

In Other News. Jay Leno has said that he misses the heck out of shaking hands with the studio audience like he used to do back when he had a late night talk show.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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