Written by Moe Nightwalker
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Topics: Economy, employment, work

Tuesday, 4 February 2014

image for Working at Home Saves Firms Money

More companies are encouraging employees to work at home because of the incredible cost savings. Even Yahoo is rethinking their 2013 demand for employees to work in the offices.

This change has come about after companies began reviewing the costs and changing the layout of their offices. NvrMeet, an internet start-up in Silicon Desert, asked their employees to work from home whenever possible starting November 1 because they were remodeling the building. The conference rooms were available and about 10% of the workforce did come to work for meetings or to avoid spouses, barking dogs, and crying babies.

NvrMeet was shocked to discover that the cost of company supplies like paper, pens, printer ink, postage, file folders, etc. dropped by 82%. "Even our tape budget dropped," explained 16 year old CEO Tommy Potts, "and this was during the holiday gift wrapping season!"

During the building update, NvrMeet had new cubicles installed that allow the company to adjust cubicle sizes by up to two feet in one inch increments. Potts got the idea from another high school drop out, Dallas Denver, CEO of MoGames. Mr. Denver realized that airlines were often reducing seat width and depth to add more seats or increasing the space to charge more money. He decided to try this with his office cubes. "Employees all tend to 'work at home' around holidays, like the Friday before Memorial Day. On those days, we contract a firm to reduce or enlarge the cubes based on number of employees expected to be hired or laid off over the next 2 months." Mr. Denver went on the explain that they also reward or punish employees by adjusting their cube size. It often pushes poor performing employees to find new jobs, thereby eliminating the expenses of a lay off. Larger employees, who likely cost the company higher health insurance premiums, are also made less comfortable in the smaller spaces.

As more companies work to reduce costs to boost CEO bonuses and investor returns, some economists are expecting to see parking spaces and cafeterias subleased. Most economists agree that the paper products used in corporate restrooms had been cost-reduced to the fullest extent already.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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