One of Britains leading banks have decided to stop handing out savers own money if they cannot explain what they are going to do with their own money!
Larger amounts of their customers own money is being kept because most banks are a bunch of tight arses and need the money for their own investments in hedge funds so the directors can make millions of bucks once again.
One frustated customer, an 85 year old granny from Leeds, needed some of her savings to buy a new zimmerframe because the local hospital refused to give her a second hand one stating that the granny, and I quote,"still had one leg, so why does she need a zimmerframe?" Another reason given was that the hospital owners were also too busy investing in hedge funds too and need every penny.
Many regular customers are outraged at the new policy and are demanding that their savings be transferred to a decent bank somewhere in Liechtenstein. This has also been refused because without the savings of regular customers their CEO's could not invest in tax havens especially built for tax dodging crafty multi-millionaire bank Executives!
More as we withdraw it...