Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 29 January 2014

image for McDonald's Says No To The Idea of Placing Big Mac Vending Machines In Macy's Department Stores
The Big Mac is the number one selling hamburger in the entire world. (Photo courtesy of Wynonna Judd).

OAK BROOK, Illinois - The world's largest fast food franchise has addressed the idea it had been developing regarding Big Mac vending machines.

Company spokeswoman Nancy Zabeletta told the news media that the company had been toying with the idea of placing vending machines that would dispense Big Macs in the very exquisite Macy's Department Stores.

Ms. Zabeletta stated that they did some market testing in two Macy's stores; one in Shreveport, Louisiana and one in Beverly Hills, California.

She pointed out that the one in Shreveport did fairly well but the Big Mac vending machine in Beverly Hills did quite poorly.

Ms. Zabeletta further noted that they hired the services of The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency and they reported that placing Big Mac vending machines in Macy's Department Stores was not a good idea.

The ADGA reported that for one thing most of the sesame seeds would fall off of the buns within 35 minutes of being placed in the machines.

They also pointed out that the lettuce turned purple and the ketchup turned in tomato like water.

SIDENOTE: Ms. Zabeletta summoned up the Big Mac vending machine in Macy's Department stores idea by saying, "Well like Yogi Berra once said, 'You can't win 'em all.'"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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