Written by queen mudder
Print this
Topics: suicide, Banker

Tuesday, 28 January 2014

image for Spooky stuff as rash of banker suicides hits London
The spooked London building is twinned with Chicago's s infamous Rod Blagojevich Tower

London, UK - An early start to the annual banker jumping season is underway this morning with reports that a senior JP Morgan executive plunged to his death from the top of a notorious 500ft 'hexed' skyscraper in London's Canary Wharf financial district.

The building, which serves as the US bank's Middle East & Africa HQ, was originally an Enron money laundering hub before being taken over by disaster-hit Lemon Brothers which collapsed during the American banking mess of 2008.

It remained empty for a number of years before being leased by JP Morgan, mainly due to an ugly reputation that it was hexed by spooky unfinished business linked to the collapse of the US economy under the Bush/Cheney Administration.

This morning worried City of London finance workers were busy checking their lucky rabbits' feet totems and other bits of superstitious crap as news of the jumper's demise made the headlines.

The RIP follows the discover of a senior ex-Deutsche Bank executive found hanging at his plush Evil In Gardens - Evelyn Gardens! - London SW7 home last weekend; British media reports have noted the businessman was close to the giant German financial institution's CEO, a major supporter of German Chancellor Angela Murky.

Expect plenty more copycat RIPs in the coming weeks as the 'London Jumper Season' gets under way.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 plus 3?

8 11 10 6
67 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more