Written by queen mudder
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Topics: argentina

Saturday, 25 January 2014

image for Pesto collapse leaves Argentine President Kirchner in the soup
The stark reality

Buenos Aires - That old cliche about getting out of the kitchen if you can't stand the heat sees daft Argie despot Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner's presidency reduced to toast this weekend.

A collapse in the value of pesto in global markets means Argentina is back to trading in beans once again as the spent socialist country teeters on the verge of bankruptcy.

So serious is the currant crisis that radical proposals by the leftist Pissartisto Party to kidnap and ransom Pope Frankie the Argie will be debated in an emergency session of Parliament this weekend.

Politicians have estimated they might be able to get between $5 and $10 million for the new Pontiff in a much needed dosh-up of foreign exchange.

"Such an arrangement might suit someone with an urgent need for an ecclesiastical get-out-of-jail card," Argentine Finance Minister Alfonso Bernardo-Madoffitz commented, "like some bent paedo bishop or Tony B Liar."

Other crisis management suggestions include twinning Argentina with Ecuador following President Rafael Correa's mortgaging his country's entire oil and gas supplies to the Chinese in return for a $10 billion bung.

General Belgrano is 104.

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