Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 24 January 2014

image for Jessica Simpson To Be The Spokesperson For Hip Hip Hooray Pantiliners
Jessica has said that she will never again use any other pantiliner but a Hip Hip Hooray Pantiliner.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - The Hip Hip Hooray Pantiliners Company is proud to announce that Jessica Simpson has agreed to be its new corporate spokesperson.

Jessica was interviewed by Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywood Innuendo and said that she was positively ecstatic to have gotten the fabulous job.

Miss San Guacamole asked Ms. Simpson what she will be getting paid. At first Jessica shied away from answering but after her and Fajita had put away about 4 or 7 Jose Cuervo Tequilas at the Zany Zebra Bar in West Hollywood, she revealed that she was being paid $1.3 million.

Simpson added that she will also receive a lifetime supply of the fantastic product which she pointed out is the preferred pantiliner of 7 out of 10 pole dancers and 8 out of 10 prostitutes.

The Hip Hip Hooray Pantiliners are unique in that they come in 13 glow-in-the-dark colors, they weigh 50 percent less than the average pantiliner, and they can be worn for 48 hours at a time.

SIDENOTE: Jessica told Miss San Guacamole that she plans to use the money to buy a flamingo ranch located just outside of Tarzana.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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