Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 8 January 2014

image for McDonald's Addresses The Happy Meal Rumors
McDonald's has said that they are not doing away with their Happy Meals.

OAK BROOK, Illinois - The McDonald's Corporation wants to inform its customers that recent rumors which were tracked back to San Diego, California are positively false.

Golden Arches spokeswoman Nancy Zabeletta stated that the fast food giant has no intentions whatsoever of discontinuing its very popular Happy Meal.

Ms. Zabeletta stated that when the rumor first broke, her company received literally millions of phone calls, emails, text messages, and tweets from concerned parents, grandparents, and adult Happy Meal lovers.

They all stated that they could not believe that McDonald's would take the Happy Meals off of their menus.

One mother of six small children from Biloxi, Mississippi, said that when her kids heard the news about the Happy Meal they cried for about 4 hours straight.

She said that they finally stopped when she went out and bought them two puppies.

Another mom, who lives in Yuma, Arizona said that her little 3-year-old boy threatened to run away from home and join the Taliban.

SIDENOTE: Ms. Zabeletta wants to assure everyone that the Happy Meal rumor was 100 percent false. When asked if the rumor was started by Ping Pong Man, she just smiled and replied, "No comment."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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