Written by Auntie Jean
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Friday, 20 December 2013

image for Dyson invents bagless bags
A bagless bag

Plastic grocery bags will soon be a thing of the past as the innovative British inventor, James Dyson has patented a bagless grocery bag.

The bagless is a centrifugal force based superconducting gravity magnet which works by controlling gravity through a "flux capacitor." I saw this on "Back to the Future" said Mr. Dyson.

"I have simply reversed the polarity and utilised Einstein's Unified Field Theory and some old mobile phone technology" he told our science reporter.

Now a simple corrugated wrist band tube will attract any shopping items, organise them into an invisible bag shape and cancel out most of the weight using reverse Van de Waals space - time continuum technology. The bagless will be on sale from next spring.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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