Greg Dyson, whose factories make trillions of bagless vacuum hoovers has now patented bagless bagpipes, The bagpipes, which sound just as awful as traditional ones work on "cyclone technology" which is used in their hoovers.
Alexei Salmon the English M.P. for Scotland has expressed interest. "We will need millions of sets of pipes when we are free, and innovative high tech bagpipes will help define the new country that I am planning in my manifesto. They will be free on the National Health."
Dyson added "We designed the bagpipes to run on carbon dioxide or unleaded petrol as the environment is of primary concern to our company. There is a control to increase or decrease the hideous screech they make so they can be turned down if there are complaints."