Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 11 December 2013

image for Walmart Is Closing Its One Store In North Korea
Some of the security guards that are employed at Pyongyang's Walmart. (Photo courtesy of Lucy Darla Pallaminski).

BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - The world's largest retail store has just stated that they will be closing its North Korean Walmart on January 3, 2014.

A spokesperson for the retail giant said that the company was reporting an average of 15 shopping carts walking away from the parking lot on a daily basis.

The store had hired a team of 8 security guards but they just could not keep up with the shopping cart thieves who weigh an average of 97 pounds and can run just about as fast as Jamaica's Usain Bolt (even while pushing the cart).

The five Americans who were working at the checkout counters remarked that they were glad the store is closing since they had gotten tired of hearing comments like "Yankee go home," "Down with the U.S. infidels," and most recently "X-Factor is fixed."

One of the American employees, Lucy Darla Pallaminski, 38, of Poughkeepsie, New York, said that she can hardly wait to sell her 2004 Hyundai Elantra and move back to the United States.

She said that she has really missed eating some good old American food at places like McDonald's, KFC, Little Caesars, and Tacos, Tacos, and Mucho More Tacos.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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