Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 3 December 2013

image for Walmart To Drop The Name Black Friday
A retail store in Illinois borrowed a cannon from the local National Guard Armory.

BENTONVILLE, Arkansas - After yet another Black Friday shopping fiasco where people were shoved, pushed, and attacked, the world's largest retail chain has issued a statement.

A Walmart representative stated to the news media that although the vast majority of the Black Friday shoppers are civilized there are always a handful who are not and as a result they ruin it for everyone.

The news media seems to always focus on the lawless shoppers who will do whatever it takes in order to save $13 on a big screen television.

With this in mind, Walmart has stated that due to the countless fights, brawls, and beatings that have occurred all over the nation, they are going to be making a change.

Effective with Black Friday in 2014, the name Black Friday will no longer be used by the retail giant.

Instead the new name will be the more appropriately descriptive name Free-For-All Friday.

SIDNEOTE: Walmart is dedicated to its devoted customers and being a company that prides itself with always striving to be on the cusp of technology they truly feel that the name change will better fit the shopping promotion.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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