Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Army, Invention, Knife, Tools

Sunday, 24 November 2013

image for A Man In Toledo Ohio Invents An Army Penknife With 93 Tools
The original Swiss Army Penknife only had 5 tools, the Commander 8,000 has 93 tools.

TOLEDO, Ohio - Ever since he was a youngster Titus Hank Hookerhaus has always loved to dabble in the world of inventions.

Well 19 years of dabbling have finally paid off as he has just invented the biggest army penknife in existence.

The knife named The Commander 8,000, has a total of 93 tools.

The Commander 8,000 has an assortment of screwdrivers as well as several types of knives and scissors.

But one of the best features is a mini taser stun gun that can deliver 1,300 volts which can knock down a 300 pound man as if he was Olive Oyl (Popeye's skinny girlfriend).

Another great feature is a mini-pepper sprayer that can incapacitate an individual for up to 8 hours.

Mr. Hookerhaus said that he has been approached by a company in Chicago that wants to purchase the rights but he told them that he will wait and see if he receives any better offers.

SIDENOTE: Hookerhaus did point out that he has also developed a Lady Commander 8,000, which has 91 tools instead of the 93.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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