Written by BillBritton
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Thursday, 26 September 2013

image for Bad Breath Ends Senator Cruz's Marathon Speech - Listerine Stock Rises on News
Cruz's potty mouth

The senate voted on Wednesday to terminate Senator Ted Cruz's (R-TX) marathon speech. For 21 hours and 19 minutes, Cruz leveled a verbal assault on President Obama's signature healthcare law. The unanimous vote came after Senators could no longer stand the "incredible stench" emanating from Cruz's mouth, according to fellow senator John Cornyn (R-TX).

The only coherent part of his speech came when Cruz repeated the text from the Dr. Seuss favorite, Green Eggs and Ham, fifty-eight times. Toward the end of this recitation, a clear majority of senators were seen slumped over sucking on their binkies.

In related news, the Senate voted by acclamation to declare January 10 as National Sardine Day.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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