COUNCIL BLUFFS, IA - "It's not like I don't do quality work," states Dr. Ernest Spunn, "I have been making my living on quality AND quantity. I have been moving through people in sheer volume, especially when I'm tweaking! Root canals, extractions, caps, crowns, fillings, the whole shebang!"
The Dr.'s accountant, Richard Price has recently noticed a significant decrease in business as Dr. Spunn loses teeth, presumably due to his Methamphetamine habit.
"It's sad to watch. For every tooth the Dr. loses from his own mouth, he seems to lose another client from his roster," Price commented.
"Oh. People can be so fickle," stated Dr. Spunn, "I've explained to several patients that my loss of teeth bears no significance as to whether I can do a good job on them. I just haven't had time to get my own dental needs taken care of due to the fact that I have several pieces of equipment, some dental, some not, some electronic, the mower, the T.V., my life, computers, appliances, furniture, garden tools, things around the house, that I need to put back together."
Mr. Price's opinion is that the future of Dr. Spunn's practice looks bleak.
"Man. People need dentistry. They need me. They need and want a dentist that will smile at them, teeth or not, and give them the service they deserve," commented Dr. Spunn.