Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 7 September 2013

image for The Marijuana State of Colorado Is Selling More Hostess Twinkies Than The Rest of The 49 States Combined
The Twinkies truck that two college kids robbed of 13,000 Twinkies.

DENVER - The distributing company for Hostess Twinkies has just announced that the Rocky Mountain state of Colorado sells more Twinkies than the rest of the 49 states combined.

Ellen "Sugarlips" Mantanello, 29, a spokesperson for the snack food company said that the reason for the tremendous sales is due to the fact that Colorado has legalized marijuana and the stuff is available all over the place.

And as everyone knows when individuals smoke pot they get a craving for food and the two leading food items that potheads prefer are pizza and Twinkies.

The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency recently conducted a research study and it found that Coloradoans eat over 2.7 million Twinkies in a 24-hour period.

The ADGA pointed out that one day last week two college kids held up a Hostess Twinkies truck and escaped with over 13,000 individually wrapped Twinkies.

Unbeknownst to the thieves each Twinkies wrapper has an electronic location filament which can show officials at Twinkie headquarters exactly where every Twinkie is located.

The two college thieves were apprehended south of Denver in the town of Castle Rock and are presently sitting in jail awaiting their trial. They have been denied bail on grounds of Nolo Esta Ocupado Habeas.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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