Written by janet eve josselyn
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Friday, 9 August 2013

image for Sales of Hot Flash Barbie Skyrocket
"hot" redefined

Hot Flash Barbie is the newest addition to the Barbie doll franchise. Hot Flash Barbie features flushed skin, tiny beads of sweat on her brow and thinning hair. Accessories include a fan, a large iced beverage and a bottle of estrogen pills.

"The younger Barbies have been criticized for their unrealistically tiny waistlines and large missile breasts," Dan Greene, Director of Marketing recently stated in an interview with Aging Body Magazine. "But Hot Flash Barbie is striking a chord with women of all ages who appreciate the muffin-top and double chin."

"We consulted with a slew of medical professionals who specialize in geriatric health to sculpt middle-aged boobs for Hot Flash Barbie," Mr. Greene explained. "We wanted them to look like saggy versions of the missile boobs that Barbie sported in her youth. Eventually, we went with the 'tennis ball in the bottom of the sock' look. We are very happy with Hot Flash Barbie's breasts."

"As for her previously perky derriere, that proved more difficult. Despite all of the computer technology available today, we ended up sculpting Barbie's ass out of clay and smacking it a few times with a kitchen spatula to get that flat and droopy look. But she has those padded panties that puff out your fanny as an accessory!"

Sales of the new Hot Flash Barbie doll have reversed previously declining sales for the Barbie franchise in the latest quarter. Hot Flash Barbie may be a hot mess, but she's a big hit with shareholders.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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