Written by Eurocleese De Zouch
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Topics: Airlines

Friday, 2 August 2013

Flyanair are scratching around, wondering what to tax next. Some brainbox in their monolith Dublin bunker, has come up with the bright idea that all souls travelling on the said airline, will be taxed for being alive.

There are discussions whether clauses could be added, whereby if many passengers are killed during a mass in-flight, murderous dung epidemic, or a giant, secretive Ninja had managed to stow away, and manage to eat through critical flight controls, that the next of kin will not be "bailed out". If such events were to occur, then a custom topiary of Toby Anstis would be in the offing. If the families of the victims then turned this down, they would be presented with an egg shaped pie.

Other wacky ideas for earning extra dosh, is to introduce mid-flight cremations, passengers having to yawn into a specially prepared bag for £4 a pop and there was an attempt to run the 2011 Grand National within a plane's carcass (on the Seville to Bonn route). It spectacularly failed, as one of the Horses, "Cough into my face, my dear" got into a fight with a one-armed Pilot.

Michael O'Leary, one of the cabin boys said "We'll fink about it", and a senior Aviation Analyst, Norman Spillage proclaimed "Yep"..in a rather strenuous interview with Kittens Today magazine...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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