Written by Spicewood
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Topics: Toys

Wednesday, 17 July 2013

image for New toy set introduced by toy company
Look Mommy, he blew up

Harvey L. Bledsoe, R&D Director with Tammel Toys, announced at an annual stockholders meeting recently that a new product line will make its appearance prior to the upcoming holiday season. He told the stockholders, "We revolutionized the market with Barbie, not the product, but all of the after sales, right. Well, we noticed the picture of Dzhohkar Tsarnaev, the Boston Bomber, recently on Rolling Stone, and realized the potential of a heretofore untapped market, errorists and terrorism."

He went in to further detail explaining that they had developed a "Terrorist Doll," and many other similar sized dolls. He stated further that it could be construed as an "educational doll." The child places the terrorist doll either on the floor, in a dollhouse, or "pretend" crowd setting. The child then places the "Terrorist Doll" in the middle of the other "spectator" dolls, and using a thumb, pushes the right buttocks cheek of the doll and then places him in the middle of the other dolls, or in proximity to buildings or cars.

After pressing the buttoccks, the child then has to leave the room, count to fifty, and the "Terrorist Doll" explodes, doing significant damage to the dolls closest to him, and lesser damage to dolls the farther away he had placed them.

It teaches "collateral damage," "triage medicine" and other first aid techniques. They anticipate many of the children who play with the toys might ultimately go in to nursing, medicine, or health care of some kind.

"We will see repeat sales, the terrorists doll can only be used for one incident, and the entire set consists of fifteen dolls, women and children as well as male adults," some can be "nursed" back to health and used in subsequent explosions."

They foresee the possibility of additional people, buildings, cars, trucks and various events where the dolls participate in actual events.

The majority of the figures will be manufactured abroad, with Tehran being the hub of the manufacturing complex.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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