Written by Spicewood
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Topics: cookies, Crackers

Saturday, 6 July 2013

image for Cookie company to sue consumers
Some are crushed

Mabiskit manufacturers of cookies and snacks is only a few days away from announcing a ground-breaking lawsuit against consumers, oddly enough, who have purchased some of the company's actual products.

The consumers have no conception of the manufacturing process and the detailed lengths that are taken to insure high a high quality cracker product. Engineers design the equipment, manufacturers produce the machinery for us, highly trained personnel painstakingly bring together all of these aspects, plus the raw product necessary to produce the product.

Quality Control is a high priority, we strive to produce the highest quality product on the market, painstaking conveyed from manufacturing plants, trough suppliers, and then on to the retailer, who carefully displays it on their shelves.

Our complaint, after all of this, the consumer purchases our product, carefully places the crackers in their car, gently carries it into their homes, and places it on a shelf in their kitchen.

An example that we are diametrically opposed to. For instance, the wife is going to prepare meatloaf for dinner. She removes a sleeve of carefully packed crackers, gently takes them in her hands, and then, with the strength of Samson, in a few deft moves, crushes them in her hands, crushes, and kneads, twists and turns, grinds and pounds, until they are relegated to crumbs.

The finely ground crackers are then placed in a pan with the other ingredients, and more kneading.

The crackers are humiliated and crushed, it has to stop, legal action will be taken. Cracker abuse must stop.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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