Written by Gee Pee
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Topics: Toys, doll, Girls

Monday, 1 July 2013

It took four years and millions of dollars to learn what girls want. Now that they've figured it out, "it's a snap," Neil Jacobsen, the company's CEO says.

Before the research was completed, top toy makers offered girls the same toys they sold boys, but, feminism notwithstanding, the girls were not impressed with "boy toys."

"Whether for genetic or environmental factors, the fact is that girls are just not into building things," spokesperson Garrick Johnson told me. "Likewise, superheroes such as the Avengers and Star Wars characters left them high and dry."

To whet the girls' appetites for the snap-together toy bricks, the company had to introduce dolls into the mix.

"We call them Super Friends," Johnson says. There is one of every race, a blonde and a redhead; a brunette; and even one whose hair is pink! Each has her own 'life story,' which focuses on a different building, such as a library, an office building, a restaurant, a hotel, and a movie set. The buildings, which must be built with blocks, of course, fit the dolls' personalities, allowing them to assume traditional female roles, such as librarian, secretary, waitress, maid, and actress.

"Girls love their new Friends," Johnson gushed.

Other buildings include a school and an art gallery, in case one of the Friends wants to change her career path and become a teacher or an artist.

The dolls also have snap-on, snap-off heads and limbs, so they can take turns "empathizing" concerning what it might be like to be one of their Friends. The Friends come with snap-on, snap-off accessories, such as purses and shoes. Bigger breasts can also be snapped on (or off).

The blocks are also "girl friendly," Johnson observes. "Instead of just the typical bright primary colors, we've included pastel pinks, lavenders, purples, and reds."

There was even a discussion about including a snap-on, snap-off penis for boys who want to become girls, but they decided to hold off on that feature for now. "The transgender market seems small among the under-12 set," Johnson explains. "But give it time."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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