Written by Aspartame Boy
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Thursday, 20 June 2013

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The Bernanke escape pod

Washington DC - According to anonymous sources close to Bernanke, he is selling all the securities, all the stocks, bonds, realestate, and gold that he purchased with the Federal Reserve System.

Why? According to sources, Bernanke is leaving the federal reserve, and would like to take a nice piece of change with him. Trillions of dollars worth of securities and commodities all on the market at once. Did the chairman think this might be a bit deflationary?

According to sources, yes. But this is good. It gives his successor a lot of options for re-inflating the bubbles down the road.

And what is Bernanke going to purchase with his quadrillions of dollars? According to our source, Mars, as well as a fleet of space ships.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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