Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 15 June 2013

image for Rupert Murdoch in 'I did not have relations with Blair' shocker
Gotta great defence attorney, Tone, should you ever need one

New York - "Guys, there is no DNA-laced cigar or Lewinsky-esque blue dress," a statement on behalf of the NYC-based octogenarian NewsCorpse mogul said today, "either in the back of a closet or at a downtown dry cleaners.

"Our client also refutes the existence of a globetrotting Mile High Club 'kiss 'n' tell' diary, ghostwritten or otherwise by tabloid hacks."

This morning's announcement by Manhattan lawyers in the upcoming Murdoch v Murdoch divorce also includes a tersely worded one-liner scotching a torrent of internet rants that name 'Shagger Blair' as the 'guilty party'.

UK red tops have described how the ex-UK PM and the Oz newspaper chief 'were all innit together' during a massive phone hacking love tryst whose fallout has now triggered the Murdoch divorce.

The allegations come as Blair's usually po-faced wife Cherie is papped looking wild-eyed and edgy on a massive designer label shopping binge.

Decades of lurid 'marriage of convenience' rumors had always been scotched swiftly by the UK's ex-First Couple, fast-tracked for public beatification by their Opus Dei chums into the Vatican's very own Celeb Hall of Fame.

All that could change now as a slew of headline-grabbing allegations hits the NYC matrimonial courts in what lawyers hope will be a multi-billion dollar payout for the winsome [lose some?} Mrs Murdoch.

Rebekah Brooks is 109.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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