Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Saturday, 8 June 2013

image for US Radio Host Alex Jones Tricks His Way Through Security At Bilderbog Bash!
'That's not our Henry, he wears pink fluffy slippers!'

Unprecedented security measures at this week's Bilderbog bash near Watford have failed to stop US radio host Alex Jones from finding a way in.

Mr Jones, though eventually caught and promptly thrown out managed to spend nearly hours inside the grounds of the swank hotel in Chandler's Cross, Hertfordshire this morning, even getting into the hotel itself then the hotel's lecture hall where he took to the stage giving a speech to the Bilderbog guests in the hall for a little over 45 minutes.

'I'd have liked it to have been longer but it was enough time to tell them a few home truths,' said Alex, 'but then Billy Clinton noticed the boots saying it wasn't their Henry on the stage because he always wears pink fluffy slippers at the Bilderbog bashes.'

Asked how he'd managed to slip through the security net, Mr Jones said the tinted visor on his crash helmet when driving up to the main gates on the moped that morning had formed part of the plan to trick the security guards there into waving him through.

'Wearing the latex Henry Kissinger face mask was also very important,' he said, 'but, and I have apologised to them for having to do it, it really was crucial in order for me to get waved through that entrance to stick a finger up to the crowd of anti-globalist protesters who were standing near the gates on the grass verge. If I hadn't done that the security guards manning those gates would have sussed it couldn't be the real Henry Kissinger sitting on that moped.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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