Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 6 June 2013

image for California Taco Licker Fired Real 'Pronto'
A taco that did not get licked by the infamous California Taco Licker.

RIDGECREST, California - A spokesperson for Taco Bell wants all of its patrons to know that the infamous Taco Licker, who licked 30 taco shells, has been fired and customers can once again feel comfortable and enjoy their tacos knowing that they have not been pre-tasted.

Company spokesperson Raleigh Farrago, 42, said that the employee, who he would only identify as one sick sicko, was told to turn in his Taco Bell hat, shirt, pants, socks, and underwear and get the hell out of Dodge, as they used to say in the Old West.

Mr. Farrago wanted to express to everyone that Taco Bell is making sure that this type of sickening incident which can best be described as being ewwwww and yucky never, ever happens again.

He pointed out that each Taco Bell restaurant will immediately be installing closed circuit surveillance cameras in all store kitchens, offices, dining areas, and bathrooms.

The company says that when they first heard about the situation they wanted to wring the guilty party's neck. Customers wanted to hold him down and stick lettuce, tomatoes, onions, guacamole, and hot sauce up his nose.

Even President Obama got into the fray when he stated at a hastily called press conference that he will be looking into the possibility of shipping the taco licking scumbag off to Guantanamo (Cuba).

SIDENOTE: The president did have high praise for Quantavius Voxweather, 17, who is the Taco Bell lettuce cutter who managed to wrestle the sick employee to the ground before he licked any more taco shells.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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