Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Underwear, Cyprus

Wednesday, 20 March 2013

image for Millions of Cypriots will go commando as EU bailout imposes austerity knicker tax says seer
Those will have to come off if this young lady is to avoid the government's austerity sting

Nicosia - A Cyprus psychic whose visions interpret supernatural omens by staring intently at expensive underwear has warned the nation will go commando rather than pay the new exorbitant levy on butt cover-ups.

Nicholas Nicholaides, 69, known on the Island as the 'Knicker Seer', says a previous EU bailout on lycra leggings and push-up brassieres achieved nothing.

"I say Cyprus women were revolting back in '69, peeps," the soothsayer commented, "furious at a Common Market sales tax on underwired bras and stuff.

"The resulting slump was a national embarrassment and abandoned
our womenfolk without any proper support."

A balmy local climate means little excessive clothing is required from March to December with residents strolling partially clothed in searing daytime temperatures.

But a chilling recession has seen their government swoop down on bank account savings leading to a massive national outcry about daylight robbery.

The price of a bottle of Retsina has recently doubled to 40 Euros plus a 95% 'inebriation tax'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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