Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Ikea, horsemeat

Monday, 25 February 2013

image for Ikea customers demand money back after failing to jump over Bechers Brook!
Pigs are living longer now everybody fills their balls with horsemeat!

Ikea customers, who consumed their meat balls while purchasing new furniture at the company's mega-stores in Europe and the UK, noticed that after feebly attempting to construct the damn stuff, they started to "champ at the bit!" (It's enough to drive anybody horse-mad!)

Many of the UK customers, busy chomping, felt a sudden urge to either pop over to Aintree racecourse or to the Badminton Horse Trials course to test their luck. "Spurred" on by their family, many of Ikea's customers successfully completed the Badminton course, but sadly come a cropper up at Aintree.

It seems that even Swedish meatballs, made with finest, prime horsemeat, are not enough to give most horses or jockeys without horses enough power to leap across the infamous Bechers Brook.

Many Ikea customers are demanding their money back and have vowed never to buy a Volvo again and burn all their ABBA albums. The Swedish king, Gustav, has apologised to Europe and the UK for the scandal and has promised that in the future Ikea meatballs will only be filled with pure pigs blood. A well known source of super-power energy because veteran Man United soccer player, Ryan Giggs, drinks a pint a day.

More as we hear it from Waterloo...

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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