Russia is losing billions of "dirty dollars" annually because they are being washed by a huge machine run by a bunch of criminal Scrubbers.
Russian billionaires, the Russian Mafia and other criminal organisations are making sure that their hard-earned dollars come out of the machine as clean as a packet of Persil. They then disappear into thin air above numerous tax-havens that are dotted around the planet.
Russian economists and politicians are bewildered at the amounts of money exiting the country by the back door and have now announced stricter regulations of "dirty money"; here are just a few of the new bendable laws for Russian billionaires and The Mafia:
A) Do not wash your money here and send it abroad, we will gladly invest it for you in "black gold" because you need to keep your limos going on cheap fuel; one hand washes the other!
B) Money earned by the illegal smuggling of prostitutes to western Europe should also be kept here, tax-free, so the state can build academies for up and coming females wishing to learn the trade legally and then be exported.
c) Money earned from drug dealing, betting scandals and other such activities will be spent on building huge, mega-million mansions for corrupt Russian politicians who will gladly turn a blind eye or two if you are caught practicing such activities.
D) Give your laundered, dirty money to the following charity: Vladimir Putin's charity for over-worked politicians who get caught with a boob or two in the hand whilst frequenting sexy night bars with members of the local Mafia.
A Mafia spokesman gave the following reaction; "Het"