Written by Ducksley
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Topics: Award, Ears, Keys, volvo

Monday, 11 February 2013

image for Volvo Wins "Best Key to Use to Pick Your Ear" Award

For the third year in a row, a Volvo ignition key has won top honors in the "Best Key" category at the National Ear Pickers convention.

Judges at this year's gathering in Nashville presented elated Volvo representatives with the coveted Golden Ear trophy for the 2013 Volvo S60 sedan ignition key, saying, "Its notches and grooves team up to provide the most stimulating experience since Q-Tip discontinued their vibrating Q-Tickler model."

Hundreds of attendees waited in a long line in front of Volvo's booth to get their hands on a free sample key. Among the first to receive one was Fajita Mufferberg, 32, of Alpaca, Wyoming.

"Oh...my...god," she exclaimed as her body writhed back and forth as she twisted the gold-colored key in her left ear.

After removing the key, a dazed Mufferberg lit a cigarette and said, "I have to go sit down," as Volvo staffers smiled and nodded.

Outside, a small group of ear, nose and throat doctors picketed the convention. One doctor held a large sign reading, "Nothing smaller than your elbow!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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