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Tuesday, 29 January 2013

image for Robotics Company to Manufacture Androids
Female Androids

Tucson AZ: Acme Robotics Inc. (ARI) a company that specializes in biotechnology, robotics and artificial intelligence applications announced the development of androids for home and business applications.

The two male and female android prototypes are anatomically correct replicas of humans. Full scale production of maids, butlers, cooks, waitresses, gardeners, secretaries and valets is to begin in March 2013, with fully tested products available in six months. The androids are to be sold in male and female pairs.

Few technical concerns remain, but a number of political obstacles need to be speedily resolved, such as.

The US Department of Labor is suing ARI over working androids violating wage and hour laws. The ARI legal department is counter-suing the federal government to exclude androids from paying Social Security, Medicare and ObamaCare taxes.

Environmentalist groups led by the EPA are suing ARI to determine the type and amount of waste materials that androids will generate when every Americans household has them.

The State of Arizona is suing ARI over whether androids are illegal immigrants.

Evangelical Christians and other religious organizations are suing ARI to insure the male female android pairs are married before shipping them to customers.

The ACLU and other civil rights organizations are suing ARI over androids being deprived of their civil rights by involuntary servitude.

The NAACP is suing ARI to have African American androids and to remove the term "sold" from ARI's advertisements.

Gay, Lesbian and LGBT groups are suing ARI over whether the androids should be sold in male and female pairs only, including the right to same sex marriage. Other unidentified groups are suing ARI on behalf of android and human intermarriage. (Several combinations are theoretically possible.)

The AFL/CIO and other labor unions are suing ARI to represent androids in negotiations with their owner/employers over minimum wages and working conditions.

An emergency board meeting was convened at ARI headquarters to discuss the monetary ramifications of all the pending lawsuits. The treasurer reported that a drain on the company's available capital could delay the start of android manufacturing by several years. The chief engineer was particularly upset by a technical issue caused by a notice of a lawsuit she just received from an anonymous group wanting all male androids circumcised!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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