Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 27 January 2013

image for Lance Armstrong and Roger Clemens Going Into Business Together
An autographed Roger Clemens baseball now sells for 3 cents. (Photo courtesy of José Canseco).

CHICAGO - It appears that two of the sports world's fallen figures have announced plans for a new business venture.

Lance Armstrong, the lying road racing cyclist champion and Roger Clemens, the lying baseball pitcher recently met at The Crocked Crocodile Club in Chicago and finalized the plans to own and operate a private investigating agency.

Both men decided to go into the private investigating business since there are no other two ex-sports figures who have dealt more with this type of profession in America or in the civilized world than them.

Clemens recently stated to Hercules Confetti with Sporting Chance Magazine that he personally knows the names and phone numbers of over 180 private investigators.

Armstrong divulged that he personally knows about 147 PI's.

The former pitcher known as The Rocket, because of his ferocious fastball stated that they plan on naming their new agency The Been There - Done That Private Detective Agency.

Clemens, who swears he is distantly related to Samuel Clemems AKA Mark Twain, said that over the years he and his partner Armstrong have learned all of the tricks of the trade.

Armstrong, who says he still misses the heck out of ex-girlfriend Sheryl Crow, noted that no matter what he will always be the fastest guy on two wheels and that not even Barbara Walters, Queen Elizabeth, or Hank Williams, Jr. can ever change that.

In Other News. Todd Palin revealed to Boom Boom Hunting Magazine that now that his wife Sarah has been fired by FOX News he is dreading the fact that she will go back to living at their home in Wasilla, Alaska, Casa Moscow, full time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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