Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 25 January 2013

image for Controversial Drug X-9 Yomide Being Removed From Popular Sports Drink
An ex-NFL kicker pouring himself a glass of CrocAde Lime.

NEW YORK CITY - The Crocodile Sports Drink Company of Bedford-Stuyvesant, New York, has issued a statement saying it will soon be removing a highly controversial ingredient from its line of energy sports drinks.

Sahara Sara Serpentulli, spokesperson for CrocAde, stated that the ingredient known as X-9 Yomide is believed to possibly cause the drinker to hallucinate and think that he or she is a famous well-known political pundit such as Sean Hannity, James Carville, or Ann Coulter.

The individual then proceeds to insult and verbally attack other people around them causing a tremendous scene kind of like the one that Nicki Minaj caused on American Idol with the lovely and talented Mariah Carey.

Ms. Serpentulli noted that in response to the company removing the aforementioned drug from its sports drink, that all of the 13 current outstanding class action lawsuits will be dropped immediately.

SIDENOTE: When asked if customers who purchased CrocAde can return the unopened bottles for a full refund Ms. Serpentulli answered by saying no and added that she suggests that the customer just simply pour the contents of the CrocAde bottles down the sink, in a flower bed, or into the commode.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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