Written by Matt Birkenhauer
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Topics: Religion, God, Heaven, Hindu

Tuesday, 7 May 2013

image for Heaven Restructuring: God Out, Shiva In

HEAVEN--St. Peter announced today that heaven was going through a major restructuring and that Yahweh, CEO of Heaven since time immemorial, would be replaced by Shiva, known to his associates as "the Destroyer."

Explained St. Peter: "Over the millennia, heaven has become too bureaucratic, too inefficient. We need some new blood to lead us in the direction of a leaner, meaner, more cost efficient celestial environment." Shiva, formerly of Hindu Pantheon, Inc., said of his new position: "I'm ecstatic! I'm looking forward to revamping heaven from the bottom up. Things are definitely headed in a new direction around here."

Some employees of heaven are not so pleased with the change. Apparently Gabriel and Michael are both in the process of updating their resumes. Said Michael: "The last time I updated my resume, people were still using stone tablets! Obviously, I've got a lot of work to do."

When CNN business correspondent Chad Lipscomb contacted God about the move, he shook his head sadly and said: "I didn't see it coming."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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