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Friday, 4 January 2013

Many members of Ireland's little people community are scared tonight. There has been a dramatic and sudden rise of kidnapping amongst the little people community in Ireland during these economic hard times.

Moody's Investors Service on Tuesday downgraded Ireland's government bond ratings to junk, dealing a further blow to the euro zone. The current unemployment rate in Ireland is 14.7%. Ireland has been reeling from an out right stench of rotten debt in its coffers, which has trickled down to the local Irish community, even the little people community.

Drunken, poor, smelly Irishmen kidnapping and holding Irish little people for their pots of gold. Irish little people speak out in this exclusive interview.

We spoke with Kenny Floinn, a member of the little people community, "It's hard being a little person in Ireland these days. These drunkards that are a bit out of their luck decide to kidnap us little people and take us in an attempt to find our gold. It's our gold! I've worked hard for me gold, and I'm not going to give it up so easily."

Kenny described a night where he himself was attacked by a drunken Irishman looking for his gold. "I happen to enjoy wearing period pieces, mostly from the late 1800s. I had a top hat on, with me nice petty coat and suit pants, you know for going out on a night on the town. Then, as seems outta no wheres, this drunken Irishman tackles me, putting his arms around me legs. Give me your gold!! He says. I was scared to death. I didn't know what to do, but I managed to scramble away from him enough to run home."

Kenny and a few others of his little people community live at the end of Rainbow Street in the outer burroughs of Dublin.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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