Written by Jaggedone
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Sunday, 16 December 2012

image for Boris Johnson loves a cup of corporation taxed Starbucks!
To Bean or not to Bean? Ask Boris!

The fabulous Lord Mayor of London, circus artist, aristocrat and TV quiz show host, Boris Johnson, has come out of his closet to support Starbucks Coffee in their bid to pay 20 million quid corporation tax!

He has requested that the UK public should not sneer at Starbucks and if they do, go to Costa's instead. Boris, on his way to work, always stops off at his local Starbucks for a cappuccino or two followed by the paparazzi, his constant companions and others who just cannot get enough of the Mayor.

Even comedian, Russel Howard, loves Boris's super, sharp wit and becuase of the constant TV exposure, Russel and Boris have also become great, piss-taking friends, in fact they are recording a brand new comedy, satire show called "Boris & Russel's Beat the Bastards!"

Starbucks meanwhile, have decided to name one of their fabulous coffee concoctions after Boris and are calling it the "Jolly Johnson Creamline Special" the ingredients are specially roasted beans from Boris's favourite part of London, Brixton, whipped cream extracted from the goat shown in Russel Howard's show and to top it all off, chocolate organic sprinkles from Starbucks Free Trade cocoa plantations in Darkest Africa without the seal of authenticity!

Kinda sums up Boris Johnson actually; he's really not real!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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