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Friday, 12 October 2012

image for Price of Mini Wheats will rise due to 'added iron'
Mini Wheats now fortified with iron bits

BATTLE CREEK, Michigan (ABSNN) - The proposed recall of Frosted Mini Wheats was cancelled today according to long-time breakfast spokesman Tony the Tiger.

Speaking before a group of food reporters, Tony admitted "that metal fragments had been found in several lots of the sugar coated, bite sized, wheat cubes, but they were still 'GGGRRREEEAAATTT!!!.'"

"Instead of recalling the product, which would cost us millions of dollars in lost revenue and law suits, the unit pricing of Mini Wheats will be increased to reflect the additional nutritional value of the steel and iron fragments. Gotta have that iron, kids," the Tony said.

The US Pure Food and Drug Administration (FDA) agreed with the repackaging plan.

"As long as they properly label all packaging to inform the consumers they are eating iron fragments, we're all in favor of the move," said FDA officials.

"To be honest, the FDA doesn't care if they sell refried dog shit cubes as long as they are properly marked," they said.

We will keep you informed.

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