Written by Mack The Knife
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Thursday, 11 October 2012

'Piggy Party' a small toy company based in George Osborne's own parliamentary constituency of Tatton, Cheshire, was hailed by the Chancellor yesterday as a "shining example for small businesses."

"Rather than sitting around waiting for handouts this go-ahead group of entrepreneurs have forged links with China in a venture that combines the best of British innovation with Chinese technical and financial resources" he said.

Osborne said he was "immensely flattered" by Piggy Party's top-selling toy, a Piggy Bank in the shape of the deficit slashing Chancellor himself.

"It's a close likeness!" Osborne laughed, handling one of the 'Osbo Pigs' with its little black top hat, double-barrelled snout, and a butcher's knife gripped in its front hoof, presented to him by the company. "And it certainly sends the right signal to children. It encourages financial self-reliance and gets them saving for their future now."

The Osbo Pig has already flooded the nation's toyshops, and the company was reportedly planning a sequel of savings banks in the shape of a Danny Alexander Ginger Hippo and a lizard in the shape of David Cameron with coin slots for eyes.

But today the company's further expansion has been put on permanent hold as the Osbo Pig has been withdrawn amid allegations that the materials used to colour the pig are highly toxic. "The Osborne Pig is coloured with the crudest lead paint, banned almost everywhere except China" said one doctor in the London hospital where two children have already been hospitalized, with numbers expected to rise nationally.

Piggy Party Management are refusing to comment and the company's office in Tatton has now been boarded up. Parents are urged to destroy the Osbo Pig immediately.

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