Written by Ossurworld
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 1 September 2012

Forbes Magazine only deals with sports business when the price exceeds $250,000,000.00. Otherwise, it is a true condescending reach downward to the sporting life where penny stock brokers live and die.

The Red Sox recent budget cutting has caught the attention of high financiers. In an age when downsizing top echelon executives is the way to go, the Red Sox have shown Wall Street and Main Street the route to big savings runs down Yawkey Way.

However, according to Forbes, it is not the fault of your billionaire investors and owners, but in the greedy and unbridled little men who drink power like it's Gatorade.

Yes, Forbes discovered the villain of the Red Sox drunken revelries of the past few years-and his name is Theo Epstein. According to the prestigious business journal, he was the Marie Antoinette of contracts who put our beloved Red Sox on Queer Street. Theo may as well change his name to Mudd and start eating dirt pies.

Blamers have found Theo an easy target in a series of bloated media reports that criticize his deals with overpaid, underperforming players who nearly capsized the Titanic of baseball on their 100th anniversary party at Fenway Park.

If not for the foresight and staunch financial acumen of the ownership, all would be lost. Their stouthearted and fearless act of tossing Josh Beckett, Carl Crawford, and Adrian Gonzalez overboard has righted the franchise after hitting the quarter billion payroll/iceberg.

Boston media now reports that ownership feels Theo should shoulder blame. He is the epitome of culpability, but fled to Chicago to escape the seismic shift at Fenway.

It's too late to tie a tin can to his tail, but the tale of his infamy is now reaching legendary stature. Instead of assessing blame accurately, the media plays "Pin the Tail on the Donkey."

Make Ossurworld's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.



Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.




Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 3?

5 15 20 25

Go to top