Written by whatinthe world
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Friday, 31 August 2012

image for Not Tickle Me Elmo, but Tickle Me Bin Laden
how a foot fetish saved America

Washington, USA. A Navy SEAL involved in the top secret operation to assassinate Osama Bin Laden has revealed that the Al Quaeda leader was not shot as popularly believed but in fact tickled to death. Jake Greibless IV was recruited by the SEALs because it was common knowledge that he had a foot fetish addiction and was capable of terminating human life by just tickling.

When they stormed Bin Laden's compound, according to Greibless, he found his way into the terrorist mastermind's bedroom and, while a fellow SEAL held him down, Greibless removed his shoe and sock, proceeding to tickle his sole continuously. At once, alternating between tongue licks and finger strokes, Greibless induced a maniacal laugh from Bin Laden who screamed for it to stop. However, during the course of the next few minutes, Greibless' sensational touch brought on a massive heart attack that fatally struck the 43 year old.

Greibless says he's proud of what he did for his country and, for his efforts, the President of the United States will present him with a large sculpted foot.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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