Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Thursday, 2 August 2012

image for DHS Labels Chicken Fillet Outlet Supporters As Terrorists, Vows Revenge
Satellite Photo Of Supporters

Washington, DC-- The Department of Homeland Sissies considers all supporters of a fast-food chicken outlet (which specializes in cooking up the the fillet real nice) as dangerous to America and plans to punish them. Hundreds of thousands of citizens went to the fast-food joint yesterday to show support for the company's anti gay marriage position. The DHS says this will not be tolerated.

"These so-called supporters are the same sort of people who hijack planes and kill children. They must be stopped, they are terrorists." said a visibly upset Janet Napolitano, the head of DHS.

The mannish Ms. Napolitano said that the DHS took down the license plate numbers of all supporters yesterday with their DHS spy satellite.

"We know who they are. We know their names and addresses. They cannot hide from the Department of Homeland Sissies." said Ms. Napolitano.

The DHS plans to launch thousands of drone strikes against the offenders. They don't plan to take any prisoners.

"All protests against the New World Order must be stopped!" said Ms. Napolitano. She then stood up and saluted the Nazi flag in the corner of her office.

"All hail the New World Order!" she barked.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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