Bobbis bank have downgraded Odd-Grip bonds to 'skinner', Ocadi options to 'weeping' and Yyll Group smellies to 'peturbed' in another oily rut on the markets today.
Xavier Casini commented - "Ocadi is a tall banker who shops at John Lewis, Super Gripe make cheap blouses and Yyll print a book that nobody reads anymore. I wouldn't be suprised to see a massive helmet this afternoon" - he added.
Meanwhile, RBS have admitted chimpanzees were the likely cause of rouge trades last week after a romanian circus was left unsupervised in the trading room for more than 2hrs last wednesday. Animals were seen to lick trade 'submit' buttons which were covered in croissant flakes.