The Mitt Romney Presidential Campaign decided to create a travel agency called, No Apologies, (a new Bain Capital investment) giving vacationers the rare opportunity to visit the seven offshore banks throughout the world holding the Romney family investments. Besides being tax havens offering total privacy, they are also located in sunny vacation spots.
Like ascending the seven summits in mountain climbing, (climbing the tallest mountains on each continent) the No Apologies travel tourist will have the opportunity to visit seven different Romney banks.
While mountain climbing is a challenging workout, visiting the Romney banks will be easy. Located in upscale vacation spots the entire family including grandma may enjoy, reservations will only be accepted from the well heeled interested in avoiding U.S. taxes.
Highlights of each of the seven-nation tour, (Romney has accounts in seven countries) will be a visit to the bank holding a Romney account and having a photograph taken next to a life size cut out of a smiling Mitt Romney.
The seven-nation tour includes: Australia, holding a Romney Family Trust; Bermuda, holding the stay at home mom, Ann D. Romney Blind Trust; the Cayman Islands, holding another Blind Trust for stay at home mom, Ann D. Romney; Ireland, a third Blind Trust for stay at home mom, Ann D. Romney; Luxembourg, a Romney Family Blind Trust; Germany, a Romney family Blind Trust; and Switzerland, a bank account estimated to hold a puny 3 million dollars.
The No Apologies travel agency will also provide tours to the various Romney homes including the estate in La Jolla, California, with the elevator garage.
Learning of the planned No Apologies travel agency, Mr. Romney exploded with glacial speed and demanded to know whether the entire team was effing out of their heads.
Overheard saying: You think I want tourist buses stopping in front of my home like Clark Gable and Lucille Ball? And the bank thing? I'm running for President, not Drug Lord stashing money in banks around the world. Cancel the No Apologies travel agency!
"No way! It's a Donald Trump idea."
Clark Gable and Lucile Ball?