Written by b kenneth mcgee
Print this
Topics: Oil, Fracking

Saturday, 19 May 2012

The American Petroleum Institute issued a statement this morning announcing the intent of its members to, "Frack you America!"

While the statement seemed bold and aggressive, the API went on to state it had the backing of one hundred percent of its membership.

"With sixty-five Senators, two hundred thirty-five Congressman, thirty-eight state supreme court chief justices, and twelve hundred city council members on the payroll, it is time to cut to the chase, so to speak. So Fracking 'A' America, This land is made for you and me!"

The statement concluded in a challenging tone; "And America the fracking beautiful, you can quit worrying about your pristine rivers, streams, and fruited plains, you're fracked!

"After we scoop off the top of Mt. Rushmore, you can still visit those guys in a lead lined cave in the bottom of the Grand Canyon, not too pleasant in the summer but you'll get used to it. In conclusion, we have not forgotten you the consumer.

"We have arranged to have your well water purchased at reasonable prices by Monsanto and you can always buy your bottled water from the Yangtze. America the beautiful, frack you if you can't take a joke!"

Make b kenneth mcgee's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 3?

8 22 3 5
45 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more