Written by Aspartame Boy
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Thursday, 17 May 2012

image for JP Morgan off a few bits on 2 billion Dollar loss
Our calculator just said EEEEEEEEEEEE

NEW YORK - A computer glitch has been fixed in a JP Morgan computer that clears up the supposed 2 billion Dollar loss. According to computer repair man, Jedeth Shuckerson, the issue was just a few bits wrong.

"Actually, there were just a few bits, about 14, that were zero, but should have been one. That made the total of 2 billion incorrect. These bits are the binary numbers in the MSB position. MSB means most significant bits. This means the actual loss is two to the fourteenth power, or abut 16 thousand times greater.", commented Shuckerson.

Our staff tried to calculate the actual loss, but our calculators do not go that high. We are contacting M.I.T. for assistance and should have a final report filed by morning.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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