Written by Dan Cun
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Topics: internet dating

Monday, 14 May 2012

image for Internet Dating Site Announces "Scratch and Sniff" Option
Love Is The Air..Or Is It The Smell Of Piss?

An Internet Dating giant has announced that members will soon be able to upload their scent to profiles so prospective daters can determine whether or not they like the smell of their potential suitors. This comes after several complaints from users.

"I went on several dates" announced dating addict and serial dater Kelly Martin, from Delaware, (who uses the profile name (Cougar Barbie) "while I had seen their photos and talked to them on the phone I was very disappointed when I met these dates in person, some of them just stank of BO, others wore cheap cologne or too much expensive cologne, if I had known that I would never have met them!"

It isn't only the women who asked for this new feature. Tony Scorpio, from Queens, New York (known as HornyT on the site) said "I have met some really old women on match who did not look at all like their photographs; they were over twenty years older than what they had told me in some cases. With this new feature I can smell if a woman reeks of lavender, moth balls or piss…a sure indication that they are older than 50!"

Other features being discussed for the highly popular website is a feature that will allow former wives, husbands, boyfriends and girlfriends of members to comment on a members suitability as a partner, a contract agreement that will ensure freeloaders, just looking for a free night out, pay half the costs of a date and an honesty button, where female members will declare the probability (based on a scale of 1 to 10) of them giving oral sex, a hand job or even a "quickie" down an alley or in the car, before, during or after a first date.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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