New York, NY-- A new pill is being launched today in the war against obesity. The new weight loss pill is called Kayceen (cay-cee-en), and doctors are just amazed at its results. Kayceen is being touted as a wonder drug--it guarantees permanent weight reduction--forever!
Kayceen was developed by Illuminati Enterprises. They are a new company, dedicated to improving the human race, one dead body at a time. The company's founder, Dr. Adolf Busch, explained to the press how Kayceen works:
"Most people assume hunger pains come from the stomach and the brain. We discovered that it really comes from the lungs." stated Dr. Busch. "Our wonder pill stops the lungs, thereby stopping hunger pains. A very quick weight loss follows. The most amazing thing is that no one ever gains any of the weight back!" said the proud scientist.
Kayceen is sometimes still referred to by its chemical name--KCN. It's a mix of potassium, carbon and nitrogen. Some people still call it potassium cyanide. It's a purple-colored pill, with a nice cherry scent and taste.
"Just take one pill of Kayceen in the morning for quick results!" said Dr. Busch. "No refills are necessary."