Written by K.C. Bell
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Topics: Tax, Mitt Romney

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

image for Mitt Romney Tax Returns Made Public

While attempting to prevent the general public and investigative reporters from viewing the Romney tax returns, (before the Presidential election) Mr. Romney successfully asked for and received a six-month extension. Hoping to keep the documents undercover, the tax returns were made public after being discovered stashed away between the mattress and box spring of a maid's room in the unoccupied servants quarters at the Romney mountain top ski chalet in Chile.

The security guard in charge of making the weekly rounds of the Chile property discovered a bulging lump on the maid's bed. Recalling that he hadn't noticed a bulging lump the week before, he immediately suspected that it might be a body. He gingerly pulled off the blankets, but failed to find a body or anything, however, the bulging lump remained. A resourceful individual, the security guard pulled the mattress from the box springs, but still no body. Instead, he discovered the Romney tax returns for the year 1995 up to and including 2011.

The security guard's brain questioned, "Ola?" But his wallet yelled, "Bingo!"

It isn't clear whether Mr. Romney was attempting to deliberately hide his tax returns; however, it is strongly suspected that he was not trying to make them public. (Between the mattress and a box spring, in the maid's room, at a mountain top chalet in Chile?)

Besides having an off shore bank account in Switzerland, the Grand Cayman Islands and Luxembourg, it was also uncovered that he had an offshore bank account in Saudi Arabia, China and Vatican City.

Does Vatican City provide off shore banking services? Is the Pope...

Learning that the Holy See was in financial competition with atheist China, the Vatican immediately froze all of Mr. Romney's assets until such time as he closed his China account and transferred the China account to the Vatican.

The Romney off shore bank account conflict immediately escalated. Outraged, China threatened Vatican City.

Meanwhile, Mr. Romney became increasingly rigid, even more than the Washington Monument, denying, (through clenched teeth) that he had off shore bank accounts in Saudi Arabia, China or Vatican City.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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