Written by Jimbo123

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Topics: Money, mortgage

Monday, 9 April 2012

image for Moolah.web enters mortgage market
Is this OK until tomorrow?

Moolah.web is set to continue their slow crucifixion of the poor with a mortgage product aimed specifically at "The desperate and gullible."

Director Jacob Pretzelwitz was typically frank about the application process. "If they let us through the door, we'll usually have their keys within 6 months. In some cased we take a van with a key cutter to save us all that repossession bureaucracy later on."

Mr Pretzelwitz freely admits the product is open to anyone with a heartbeat and their name on the deeds - "Work doesn't come into to it with us. We suppy the pen, they sign and we even throw in our very own Moolah digital weighing scales as a joining gift."

Industry experts however, were surprised that the product offing was approved by the FSA considering a rather steep APR of 41,999%.

Ted Boulger commented; "Whilst there is no arrangement or survey fee, the monthly payments increase from £18.40 to £52,545.67 after 6 months which is an enormous stretch for most people."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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